Please send me my package

1. I am not posting because I dont have any new pictures to post
2. This is directly because I do not have a Compact Flash card
3. Mom, for the love of God, please send me my package. You have had my things for over a week now.
4. Its getting really hot here.
5. I played soccer today and got cussed out by 5 Scottish men in "English"
6. Masroor might be coming soon! How exciting. Yaani fatany!
7. I put pictures of everyone on my blog, hoping to elicit some sort of "hey cool thats me!" but no one cared/post
8. If anyone wants a postcard, please email me your address. Please keep in mind that I am not proactive in sending postcards.
   
9. If you would like one, you must submit a request to my Gmail address. Please and a thank you.
   
10. It takes 3-4 weeks from mail to come from UAE to USA. Its pathetic.
    

I like swinging in the swing(z)

Ollright. Well its been a really long time eh, dudez. Well, since no one really wants to read 1 post that covers the past ## days, we can summarize:

• I went back home to Dallas, Texas as a surprise (for those of you who didn't know, surprise!)
• I got to see all my brothers and my nephew, Mr. Ayaan
• He is amazing and soft
• My brothers and cousins are awesome
  
• My relationship suffered a major setback! Discovery by the elders. Hot dog
• We now have a fence at home. I like swinging in the swing(z)
• Sarah is really cool!
• I got an ear infection
• I went to Arizona for work
• I got two shots
• Upon my arrival, my luggage was misplaced for 4-5 days
• Upon my reception of the said luggage, $1,200 worth of electronics were stolen
• Sadface

I am now in the process of trying to retrieve the funds for my mishap. No one wants to read about that, im sure, but just be reassured that the experience so far has been similar to using a cheese grater as toilet paper.

On a lighter note, feel free to browse through pictures of the zoo and family football here. Some of them are dandy.

The Family

Mmmm Baby

Naveen Bhabi with her Beta
Big Ol Brother
Dad
Tom Cruise
Lt. Iwmran, saluting to his Captain
Matching lipstick
Tool
Sweetheart
Laugh-ease
Mustache
Proof that mom gets upset
Mo-izz, what a good lookin' Kid. He's going to Denmark!

(the rest of the people are either allergic to cameras (females) or I am not allowed to have pictures of them, or I don't have any. Ollright.

Life

My life has just turned upside down.

How insignificant you are

Well hello there, friends. Its been quite a white since I have posted! Thanks for still keeping up. I have been away for a few days, and here is why!

I went on a Desert Safari! It was so awesome I cant even begin to tell you. The trip started out with a drive out to the desert, then a drive in the desert climbing and diving up and down the sand dunes, finished off with a belly dancing. Mmm yes.



There is something so humbling about being surrounded by nothing but hills and hills and hills and hills of sand. The sand is so fine and light that as soon as you pick it up, even a slight breeze almost evaporates it.


It really makes you realize how big this world is, how much more there is to see and learn and quite frankly, how insignificant you are in respect to the rest of the world. I'm just another grain of sand in the box.

Harder than they need to be

Getting to see someone so close to you for only 3 days out of the past 60 can make things a lot harder than they need to be sometimes. This man understands our struggle.

This Man

UPDATE: In regards to the last post, the reason why I like it the pictures so much is because even though you cant see me, its a complete reflection of myself. My passions of photography and music and illuminated in the shadow, hiding the rest of me.

For those of you who are curious, its Explosions in the Sky and Mogwai I listen to when I go off into my shutter wonderland.

I'll be very impressed

This is quite possibly one of my most favorite pictures of all time, and that says alot if its a picture of myself (because I hate taking pictures of myself). If anyone can tell me why this picture means so much to me, I'll be very impressed.

Please enjoy

I know many of you have been wondering why there aren't many pictures of myself in my albums...well obviously its because I am the one taking the photos durrrrr. Well either way, some of the people here that I work with have captured me in some shots. Please enjoy.

Yes. This is me. More to come soon! There are some others on the Picasa as well. See the title for the Picasa address.

Honked at him, real mean-like

Mooze and Todd

Last night a mosquito smuggled into my room. He was buzzing all around my ears last night, but I was too lazy to do anything about it. That soon changed. He buzzed around my ear one more time, and I smacked my ear. He fell inside my ear canal and I had to knock him out. Hahaha! Sucker.

I honked at my boss Todd yesterday, and it wasn't for fun. I was in his blind-spot on the highway and he almost ran into me, so I hit my brakes and honked at him, real mean-like. How many people can say that!

Half naked brown dude wearing yellow crocs

Got a little story for you, guys.

Last night I went for a run and decided to go to the sauna (pronounced "saw-na," as in the S in S.A.N) afterwards. I too off my clothes, aside from some mini shorts (hey, its the sauna ok) and I locked up my glasses, ipod, towel, shorts, and t-shirt, and took my key into the sauna. I had it prepared, and it was warming up for at least 30 minutes so it was piping hot when I came inside. I laid my keys on the bench. Clink clink. Oh god. Say it ain't so. Sure enough my key fell inside the wooden bench.

I didn't have my glasses so I looked to see where it was and I couldn't see anything. I tried pulling out some of the boards but they were sealed shut. So there I was, standing in my short shorts, with no shirt, or vision, or Ipod. Disaster.

How to get back to my room. Surely, I didnt want to walk back into the lobby with my yellow crocs and short shorts, so I thought it would be a better idea to go use the stairs. There arent many females in my apartment complex so I wasnt worried. I open the door. Silence. Whew. I take a step forward and hear the echo of my single footstep...followed by another one. Oh shyzacks (thanks samar).

Out comes a blonde-haired female, near my age, who looks straight at me while I hold onto the door with complete trepidation. She takes on look at me and puts her head down. Woe. I bet she told the first person she saw about the half naked brown dude wearing yellow crocs. What a sight.

I venture up to my room using the stairs, run inside, put my contacts on, wear a towel, grab a shirt, hangar, and some duct tape. I go back downstairs and use the hanger to jimmy my way inside. Success!! I pull the keys out and decide to end my trauma with, yes, a sauna. I go back into the work out room to get my bottle of water that I forgot, and who do I see? The same blonde-haired woman. With her boyfriend. Hot dog. So that's the story, the lesson is to never wear crocs. Or go to a sauna. Or be brown.

On a side note, someone from my client walked up to me and asked me if I was Amir Khan. I said no, and they asked if I was his brother. I said no, and they smiled and said "Wow, Mashallah!" and shook my hand. Later today, I was outside on my cell phone and I ran into them again and they asked if they could take a picture of me on my phone so that they could show it to their friends. I obliged and said I was talking to my agent.

Very little relevance

The response

No shoes

Yoda's Grandmother

I understand that there was very little relevance to the vegetables in my last post. However, I found that the colors and shapes looked very nice placed next to each other. Hence I posted them. Let's see how these guys look ma3a ba3athna.

Juxtaposing this kind of lifestyle

Sometimes I still cant believe that im here. Its was just a few weeks ago that I was back home, complaining about not knowing when I was leaving. I had a conversation with Sarah the night before, talking about how I was sure that I would get less than one week's notice to pack up and head out. Turns out it was much less than that - 3 days.I am still in the mode where I think that I'm coming home in just a few days or weeks time. I keep having to catch myself and remember that this is my new home now, albeit temporarily. I wonder how many people are having the same issue with me being gone, thinking that I'm coming back anytime soon - if any.I have made several mini-trips since my time here. I love everything about this place. Its so easy to be a muslim, I cant even begin to tell you.

Everywhere you go, there is a mosque or a place to pray, in a starbucks or a bar across from the Burj Al Arab, there is always a place to pray. And depending on where you are you will hear the Adhan, so theres no way you can miss it. Even in the shopping malls, the Adhan is played and people start filing away into the corners or pray in their own shops and close up for a few minutes.Everything here is halal and zabiha. You dont even have a chance! To get alcohol you usually have to go to a specific restaurant that you know has alcohol.
Juxtaposing this kind of lifestyle to the states is so drastic. Just by comparing food, there are so many differences. Not to mention "dress code" and things like that. Honestly, the Muslims here have it so easy (which includes me at the moment).This post is boring! For those of you who read this, please take care of my mom. She is alone in the house now and if you could please give her a call or stop by or something I would really appreciate it. She is having a tough time with me being gone so any help you guys could offer would mean alot. Take her out to lunch, dinner, whatever, I'll pay you back. Anyways, Im going to try to integrate some pictures into this thing. Hope it works.

Hot chocolate lava

So I wasn't aware that when people post on my blog, its expected that I respond to their post as well...see, I figure, my blog post is a post, and the comment itself is a response (thus creating a complete conversation). However, I will now respond to individual comments from today onwards!

Still no internet or TV in the apartment. I don't think I will have it for a long time either. The emirates seem to have a process that is similar to chewing aluminum foil.

I venture to starbucks these days to use the internet. There was a lot of people traffic there, plate stacking, babies crying, coffee slurping, etc. Sorry about the noise for those that I called. I also mumble because I dont want to look like too much of an idiot.

Ever since I got here I have been have some really crazy dreams. They are back! I still haven't written in my journal yet because im too lazy.

No super-amazing entries to make about food. However, I did eat a pizza that had a 1-inch hair in it. That should satisfy any appetite. I then cleansed my tongue by eating a chocolate volcano cake. The hot chocolate lava was burning the village townspeople so I did them a favor and put it out with pistachio ice-cream.

My blog isnt that cool yet because I dont have pictures integrated with posts - but soon, this will be only an element of the past.

Also, happy birthday to Mo-izz. He never picks up my calls. I guess its payback from being in the states.

Left my apartment

My first week in Malaysia I wore a face mask everywhere I went. I stopped after a week because I didnt see too many others doing that.

Sarah's response to me sneezing a lot.


I have made several "motor-skills" errors this morning. I left my apartment without styling my hair.

Check

New Pictures. Check them out!

Arabic must be good

1. I swear, every freaking time I log into my blog it shows up in Arabic.
2. There are flies around my desk. I need to find a way to kill them. Killing all the flies.
3. I saw some advertising for some lady teaching Arabic classes. Her English was terrible. That means her Arabic must be good. Right?
4. I ate leg of lamb last night, in front of a live tabla and sitar jam session. I was in music heaven.
5. Where are my cousins? How come you S.A.N's aren't commenting.
6. PS - I opened up my blog so that non-gmail users can post now, so now you don't have an excuse.
   

History was made

I can honestly say that this has been the best week of food I have ever had in my life.

I went to a thai place, and I made the mistake of asking them to make it extra spicy. Holy smokes, themz fightin' wurdz. They brought in a large bowl o' rice, and it was literally on fire. I consumed this dish with utmost delight, although my mouth was ablaze. I wish I had consumed the house Merlot - a non-alcoholic beverage, which was sold out. How unfortunate. $10.

Yesterday, Dustin and I had to go shopping. We had to spend our budget (which I shall not mention here) to furnish out apartment with items, the soft kind (towels, bedsheets, rugs, bathroom things, etc). We shopped from 10.30am until 11.00pm. No, that is not a type-o, we literally shopped for over 12 hours straight.

For years, I have been mocked by the swine-infested "Ikea meatballs." I have heard wondrous things about them, yet they have never fancied my tongue. History was made yesterday.

"Hello sir!"
"Very good sir!"
"Are these halal?"
"Yes sir, halal sir!"
"Hooray! I would like some. Are they good?"
"Very good sir!"

Excellent. They -were- excellent. I ate every last one. Thyoop. (Just say the word while you're breathing in, you'll understand)

I then went to the Emirates Marina Mall. This is right next to the indoor ski resort they have here. You can watch people riding down tires while you eat your food. We went to a Lebanese place. There was a dish there called "Khoush Khash," which is probably the inspiration for the "Kholkhalash" stand that Homer eats at while his car has a boot on it. I didnt order it, for fear of having to use the restroom, and ordered the mixed grill. Beef and Chicken Skewers - quite possibly the best chicken I have ever eaten, with Beef and Chicken Kabob, and a lamb chop on the side. All for a whopping $9. So wild, my son.

Then I went to the grocery store. I dont know what it is about this place, but there are so many people here, its amazing. Imagine wal-mart, on a friday night, in Texas, times 10. That's not even an exaggeration. Seriously. More on the people themselves here, later.

Surprising that I talk about food so much. I guess most everything else is boring. Lets do some quick bullets!

1. I have moved into my new home
2. I dont know my address yet
3. I dont have internet yet
4. I love my apartment
5. I have a balcony looking into the marina
6. Please send me things to put on my wall, lonely they are
7. I dont know my address yet!
8. Please come visit me!

What a bonanza!

So it turns out that my mobile device is actually pretty freaking AWESOME.

GET THIS.

INCOMING CALLS.
INCOMING TEXTS.
FROM ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD.
ARE FREE!!!

What a bonanza! Here is my number: 050 9704198

I don't know where the + needs to go or anything, but Sarah knows for sure. Can you please post my number how it is in your cell phone in my comments? Haha thanks! I just asked you to do something via blog.

So, guys, if you find any way to text (hallmark, tmobile, skype) or call (skype), please feel free to do so! My phone is so lonely these days. But hark! Not for long! Wasoo

Thanks to everyone

Ah, yes, I forgot to mention, I got my luggage. All is well! Thanks to everyone that helped me. There was a very nice hijabi that helped me acquire my luggage. I would really like to sue American Airlines.

My place of stay

Tandoori Chicken Jai Gunny Laboh

I just had the best Tandoori Chicken I have ever had in my life! The meal started out with some "Paapar" (I dont know what anyone else calls them) and some raitha, spicy sauwce, and chili paste. Usually the paapar are stale and have a congealed oil residue on them...but these were fresh and delicious. I have 3 of them, me thinks. Then out came the Tandoori...holy smokes it was so delicious. It even have with a "garnish" and I even ate all of that because the flawor was so wonderous. In addition to that, I got some buttered naan. Some of the best I have ever had.

The concept of "mocktails" is wonderful here. Ever wish that when you were in the states, you could have all the pleasures of drinking fruity alcoholic beverages without the guilt of being sinful? Well, now you can be sinful without the guilt! No alcohol is served in any restaurants, but they have tons and tons of wonderful "drinks" that can satisfy your pallete. It forces them to get creative and do amazing things.

I think I am moving tomorrow, right now I have been staying in the Emirates Marina Suite but they sold out here, so we are moving across the Marina I believe. Samars' family is coming into town on Thursday, it will be nice to see them for sure! I keep imagining her dad as Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.

Seriously though, there is no reason to ever get fat in the states. Come over here, then get fat, because its 100% justified.

Tandoori Chicken Jai Gunny Laboh...

Lump of Mayo

Its 6.45 in the morning. This is the most I have slept since I got here, its nice but I feel groggy. Man I really like that word.

Things are really great from there, aside from my communication, as well as a few other elements:

Mobile Telephone - Its expensive to really call anywhere. No more 5,000 text message months :( Sorry guys.

Internetki - Its quite slow/inoperable here because of the massive construction. I think that highly interferes with the signal, and they arent big on wifi yet, I think most people traditionally use the cables.

Luggage - My luggage basically doesnt exist. I really hope it shows up because I left some ochem stuff in there, and even my Bose speakers. Pathetic, hm. I have had to go to the mall 3 out of 4 days I have been here to purchase clothes. It sounds exciting! But its annoying and tiresome. However, there is nothing more important than having clean underwear, and I make that an extreme priority. This is too much information.

Its very rare that I can go to a country an not be able to speak any of the language. When I was in Austria I spoke german, and within a couple of days I could at least speak some Greek, but its amazing how I cant speak any Arabic at all. I wish so badly that I could just speak it fluently, but I cant even say excuse me, or order a beer with a toasted pork sandwich with a side of interest in Arabic. Im just like the other ex-pats here. But this will soon change! Mark my words (or as my mom says, mock my vurds), I will learn this language.

The food here is unbelievable. The concept for "fast-food" doesnt really exist (cheap and fast). I went to the Ibn Battuta Mall again yesterday and ordered some Iranian food, it was quite delicious, but it took forever for it to come out because they make it fresh and it was around $10 for a decent plate (notsocheap and slow).

I asked the guy for some yogurt, because I love putting yogurt on anything, and he gladly obliged. I was thirsty so I used it as my beverage of lubrication for my meal and I gulped a huge spoonful. I gagged several times. Apparently, yogurt can be replaced with a mayonnaise and garlic mixture that highly resembles its cultured friend. I can still feel the lump of mayo in my side.

Overall, this is a wonderful place. The downtown area resembles machine city from the matrix, driving around is insane because there are no street addresses (with few exit numbers).

I visited the Palm Jebel Ali yesterday to see the progress of the construction. More on that and work related items later.

No pictures for now, its too slow to upload it here, but I will link images from Picasa later on to tasty-fy my blog. Thank you for reading and commenting.

sdfesfsdf sef sdf ef
sdf sef
sf sef sdf s
fd s
df
sdf
dsf
sdf
sdf dsf
sdf
ds
f s
fd dsf
dsf
dsf
dsf
sdf
sd
fds
fsdfdsfdsf
ds
fds
f
dsf
dsf
dsf

The first of many

The past 72 hours have been some of the most insane hours of my life. Saying goodbye to so many people in such a short amount of time can be quite strenous. Not to mention the debacle of packing for X months and fitting it into overstuffed suitcases that you have to sit on before you can close them.

I said goodbye to my parents and went through security. I undressed myself. "Bag Check!" said the overweight and underqualified 40-year old groggy woman. Out comes a bald man to inspect my baggage.

I started working at kroger when I was 15 years old, my very first job. It provided me motivation from the ripe young age to work hard and do well in school so that I would never have to come back here. One of my very first managers was Mr. Nelson. He was really nice to me and my family (we all worked there) and one time he fixed our tire. What a sweet man.

8 years later I find myself face to face with my tire-changing manager, now inspecting my suitcase for contraband.

"Mr. Nelson!" I said!

He looked at me, quite offended and somewhat excited. He then reached for my boarding pass and remembered who I was.

I found it to be quite ironic that the day I leave for dubai I encounter my previous manager from my first job, from 8 years ago, as a TSA Head Deputy (Prefect). He was just as bald as he used to be.

Our trip started with a 6 hour delay in Chicago, as usual. Strange that for the past three months I have been so glad to stay away from that vaccuum of time, only to be reunited with my old foe as I leave the states. The excuse? "Too much fuel." I kid you not.

I then got into a tussle with another overweight man because I said the word "excuse me" because I had 25 minutes to travel across the world to get to my plane. The conflict ended with a rear naked choke followed by a triangle, just for geometry's sake. He was a S.A.N.

I am now sitting in the Amman (strikers) airport sitting next to my buddy Dusto. Some of these people smell really bad.

Thanks to all of you who visited, called, emailed, and messaged me before I left country. I appreciate all the kind words and notions.

I will be flying into Dubai, soon. Very soon. The only way I know that people read this is if you leave a comment. I enjoy comments very much.